An
article published in 2010 by BBC details the rise of a new medical procedure known as hymenoplasty, a surgery to reconnect the hymen and simulate virginity in women. The article then proceeds to explain the 'why' of hymenoplasty: women, especially those in Middle-Eastern societies, face ostracization, abuse, and even death at the hands of their families, all for the crime of pre-marital sex. I chose to analyze this article because it confronts a dilemma that is faced on some level in all societies: the use of virginity, a concept that has been socially created by a manipulative patriarchy, as the determiner of a woman's worth; and though murder may not always be the consequence of this construct, its other effects are no less detrimental. The sexuality of women has been so publicly denigrated through acts such as "slut-shaming" and
pictures such as this that, while men are practically compelled to have frequent sexual encounters, women are forced to save themselves, to remain 'pure' and inexperienced so that men, in particular their husbands, can control them with their lack of experience. My analysis helps to shine a light on this problem, a problem that women such as myself are forced to tackle every day, a problem of unwanted shame and unnecessary guilt for an act that, were we men, would earn us praise. My analysis prompts the reader to question (1) how modern societies could allow such needless persecution to occur, (2) how the distortion of first-wave feminism into what is now known as post-feminism has aided this oppression, and (3) what are other ways in which the construct of virginity can and has harmed both women and men in our societies?
Other questions this article and my analysis may raise are:
- How is virginity determined? What sexual acts result in virginity loss?
- How has post-feminism reconciled their goal of equality with this subjugation of women in the sexual arena?
- Is it only men that perpetuate this concept of virginal purity? If not, then why would other women do this to each other?
- Are there ways that we as individuals can help to promote sexual equality for everyone?
by Kara Mailman
I believe that females also contribute to this shaming and sense of guilt. I think that women in today's world feel ashamed when they take part in sexual acts outside of marriage or a relationship, not only because of the way males view them, but also largely how other females view them. I think some girls try to cover it up when they do this because they are scared of what their girlfriends will think of them.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think it is very important and helpful to include the religious aspect to this issue. Virginity, if nothing else, something that is enforced by families and traditions and practiced by women based on their religion. Women have gained much control over their bodies and sexual practices over time, in act to give a woman control over her body and what she does with it...promiscuous behavior was no longer stigmatized. Society began to accept that some women enjoy to have the same promiscuous lifestyle as men. The issue comes it from the traditional gender roles that we were all socialized into believing. Men AND women both persecute women who are promiscuous, not just men. The question shouldn't be who does it, but rather why we do it? Why do we praise girls who chose to not engage in sexual intercourse. You mentioned that women remaining virgins solely gives the man (her husband) control over her body because she's inexperienced. But indeed doesn't the woman have all the control. She has the power to give or not to give herself to a man. I do think virginity is socially constructed, the significance of it is socially constructed. Ask yourself this would you encourage your younger sister, niece, or cousin to have sex a soon as possible? Or would you encourage her to wait as long as she possibly can? Why?
ReplyDeleteWomen are just as judgmental of another women's promiscuity as men are if not more. On some level I think that women do this to validate themselves. Like if she's doing this this and this, I'm way more pure if I'm only doing this.
ReplyDeleteIt's also interesting to point out that virginity isn't the only thing that makes a person seem pure. I have a friend that is a virgin but people talk about her in a negative light because she makes out with boys all the time and goes back to their house (but never has sex). Then I have this friend that has been having sex for years, but with the same boyfriend that she's been dating since high school so she's not considered deplorable.
On the complete other end of the spectrum are the men. We live in a society where men are almost encouraged to have multiple partners. They are rewarded for scoring with a hot girl. They have their own problems too though with this stigma. A girl I work with was talking about a boy she was beginning to date and she goes, "Yeah but he's a virgin so like what is wrong with him?" To her the boy being a virgin meant that there must be something wrong with him, she didn't take it as a good thing. It's almost expected that men aren't virgins. So for the ones that are, it must be hard too. They have their own judgments from men and women to face.
Overall promoting sexual equality seems like a very hard job when everyone is against you. There is a real Catch 22 for both men and women. We can't win either way. There will always be someone judging you from one side or the other. Either you're a prude or a prostitute. I think the best thing to do is be happy with yourself and your own personal decisions.
I completely agree that the religious aspect of this issue has to be included. Virginity would not be such a big issue if it weren't for religion. It is definitely something that is enforced by families and churches. I experienced this a lot in the church I grew up in. It was a non-denominational Christian church that aimed to welcome everyone with all beliefs, but at the same time help everyone grow in their faith. In the teen ministry, sex/virginity was talked about constantly. It definitely had an impact on my beliefs toward women's virginity. I do think virginity is socially constructed, but I will not encourage my daughter in the future to be promiscuous. Girls lose their virginity way to early nowadays and it causes health problems, psychological problems, and pregnancies. I agree that men are encouraged to involve themselves in as many sexual encounters as possible and it is sad that society is that way. If possible, a happy medium would be best because involving oneself in too many sexual encounters is negative, but so is the intimidation of being shunned by your family if you have sex before marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe increase in young couples (25 years and younger) getting married after less than a year of dating and who are very religious is something I would like to see a study done on. I am convinced that these couples get married so quickly because they want to engage in sexual intercourse, but refuse to do so before getting married.
It's interesting to contrast the concepts of virginity and purity of the Middle East with our own society's opinions. In all forms of media women are sexualized. Advertisements on television, music videos, print advertisements, and cable shows, play into women being sex objects more than actual human beings. Thus, completely going again feministic values for equality. In contrast, the Middle East uses "purity" and virginity as a means of control where, from a consumerism standpoint, Americans use sex to sell products. What does this say about the importance of religion in both societies if we are arguing that religion is the prominent reason of sexual inequality between men and women?
ReplyDeleteIn addition to this, we should also look at the differences in social stigmas between both areas. In today's American society, I have heard more young women complain or be harassed by other women about still being a virgin. Our society sees it like an abnormality, something not stereotypical with the norms of current trends; but, in reality, virginity is a socially related concept used to stereotype women into categories, as shown by the image Kara provided in her post. Another reason it would be difficult to promote sexual equality is simply the opinions of women. You are judged if you are a virgin and you are judged if you aren't. With this judgment of one person being more superior than another, the quest for equality is going to be long and strenuous.
To juxtapose this stigma, Middle Eastern culture is much more conservative than our own. One way to view a woman’s virginity is a tool for oppression but you could also view it as the one thing that women can truly call her own. With the lack of women's rights on that side of the world, it could be seen that virginity is treasured not only for religious reasons but, it is the woman's means of getting a better life. If they choose to give up their virginity, they become damaged. If they keep it, the probability of them getting married and having a more filling life increases. Being from a male dominate society, women are viewed as possessions thus, becoming appealing to them is a common occurrence. I am not saying that the concept of virginity is only seen in this way, I am just offering another view on the possible roles of "purity" through the contrast of it in different societies.
Virginity is determined differently in many different cultures and religions. For some virginity could just be no contact with males at all. Others might just be no penetration but it all differs from beliefs of cultures. I don’t think the best think to do is try to rebuild your hymen in this case because the hymen can be broken without any penetration at all. Every woman is different and not all vaginas are the same. There are even instances when women who are virgins break their hymen by doing simple non sexual things everyday such as riding horses, bicycles, or doing anything that may be a little rough. So no, sexual acts don’t have to be involved in the case “virginity” loss. It all depends on the culture and how it is viewed amongst that.
ReplyDeleteOne facet of this discussion worth unearthing is the issue of publicized sexuality. Sexual encounters are much more widely discussed in today's world than in the past. How does this contribute to the problem of virginity inequality? I am interested to hear other opinions, but I will share my own first.
ReplyDeleteI think someone's virginity is private, so whether publicly shamed or praised for their acts, for society to react to a person's sexual acts doesn't seem right to me. I condone such openness about sexuality within a family (I know this is one of the realms where women are chastised in the Middle East) or a religious community, but for the general public to know about a person's sexual history seems problematic. Thoughts?